Wanna know some trouble with me?
When someone begins to speak about the body, I get INTO IT. I can’t stop talking about it.
There’s no small talk about how you want to go on a low-calorie diet with me. No, no. I will either walk out of the room, bite my tongue hard and make mental notes of things to write about later before purposefully steering the conversation away
… or SIT YOU DOWN AND LOVINGLY SLAP YOU. Into behaving.
You won’t find me at the dinner table disclaiming about how I “definitely shouldn’t have another slice of cake”. Baby, I’m having cake if I want it… and the thought of “should or should not” does not cross my mind.
When it comes to food, those types of thoughts (should I? No…. wait… maybe a little… okay fine a little bit… damn it, I shouldn’t have done that!) are rooted in shame (which I wrote about in this article here).
Fact: IT TOOK ME YEARS TO GET OUT OF THE SHAME CYCLE. The deconstruction of shame, and the replacement of LOVE, is a process that had me, quite frequently, on the floor, bawling.
That’s one of my main annoyances in life, by the way: witnessing the covert shaming of the body in small moments that are meant to be filled with connection (for example a dinner party!). Growing up, I was a part of too many tables with women bashing themselves before diving into the “newest” dietary advice they’re keen on trying, or subtly glancing up and down on a woman who is going for seconds.
Little me was very confused back then…
Because it never made any goddamn sense. That is, if one were to develop a true understanding of the body!
In the culture of shame and comparison? It makes sense.
But if you were to get to the root of the foundational understanding of the majestic physical apparatus that your consciousness controls that was bestowed to you by God himself you would see that it does not make any goddamn sense.
And quite frankly? It’s very boring.
It’s very boring to be a person who is bashing their own body. And that’s me shaming you in the right way. The way out of the body hatred shame spiral. Tee-hee. Don’t be boring. Don’t bash your body!
For real: there’s so many other creative wonderful ways you can spend your energy, spend your time, hone your focus toward than… subjugation, or the control of thyself… in a way that is materially focused and not advantageous in any way toward your health. That’s boring. I’m the cool new mean girl int town and self-shaming is SO last decade.
And the whole calorie model we’re all obsessed with? It’s less than half of the equation.
My newest heartbreak: witnessing patients in hospice lament about how they should be losing a few pounds, or how their stomach has never been this flat before and how joyous they are in this revelation. I could write about that one for hours. Does it truly never end? This idol worship of vanity? It has been constructed within us since we were very young… does it ever end? The rejection of our beautiful God-created vessel? The subjugation of it, the controlling aspect of it, the idea that we need to make ourselves smaller?
In order to what: Appease? Appease the male gaze? Appease the female gaze? Appease your parental gaze? In order to appease a societal gaze? The sexy bunny gaze? LET ME SAVE YOU YEARS, READER: THE GAZE IS A PRISON.
Whatever gaze you are appeasing… I think that’s a good place to start with the insertion of curiosity. Insert a little curiosity into the honest question of: whose gaze AM I trying to appease? It will tell you a lot.
You see what I mean? SUDDENLY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT DEATH. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE CASUAL ABOUT THE BODY. I JUST DON’T. THIS TOPIC IS MY RIDE OR DIE. MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. I WANT TO LICK MY OWN FLESH AND DANCE FOR IT. WAIT, NO, TOO MUCH, SHUT UP YVETTE!
Yeah, we’ll go there. Eventually. Both in the physical sense (you and me ain’t nothing but mammals praising flesh until the final hallelujah on our own death beds) + literally if you stick around for the substack ride with me.
…. Annnnyyywaaaayyyy….
I’m here to let you in on a little secret, one that has nothing to do with restriction and everything to do with a foundational understanding of how the body works.
The secret is titled as a weight loss secret because it grabs your attention, doesn’t it?
”I want to lose the weight!” says everyone in their intergenerational trauma lineage.
Don’t get me wrong: sometimes it’s very optimal to lose weight. But here’s the difference… we don’t always have to view weight loss through the lens of shaming, and through the lens of control.
We can view it through the lens of a foundational understanding of the body, and through understanding hormonal chaos, also known as obesity.
Obesity is a state of metabolic hormonal chaos. And when we view it from that very logical approach, it stops being a “something is wrong with me” approach.
You know that voice.
“I’m fat and something’s wrong with me.”
”I’m fat and I’ll never have the life I want.”
”I’m fat and therefore unlovable!”
That word (fat), and the connotations (that it brings), are not rooted in truth.
This is important to understand and begin to unwind… because those connotations don’t only show up in a quiet moment when you’re reading this. They filter through your mind when you’re eating a third brownie. They filter through your mind when you’re ordering Uber Eats for the 100th time that day and the 100th week in a row. Whatever those connotations are for you, I want you to know this: they are not true. They are rooted in shame.
And when we recognize that, when we recognize a shame stronghold for WHAT IT IS, when we hold it up to the light of our consciousness, to the light of our curiosity (because curiosity is a form of love), it begins to die. We can stop doing shame and subjugation and start asking better questions.
Why is this existing within me?
What is the chaos beneath the surface?
And yes, we can explore this emotionally and spiritually as well. But if we look at it from the physical sense, obesity is rooted in hormonal metabolic chaos. Dysfunction. Something that is not ordered.
That’s what I mean by chaos. Chaos is simply a description of something that isn’t orderly.
And guess what? That says nothing about the person as a person.
It simply means that this person has a disorderly room, in this case, metabolic dysfunction. And there are many steps we can take to optimize that room, bring it back to order, so the person feels alive in that room.
Not because the person is trying to appease others through the room. Not because they’re trying to look a certain way as a person through the look of the room, trying to present themselves as someone spectacular because they have this great room. That’s all aesthetic bullshit.
And when we make an idol out of vanity, shame is always at the foundation of that.
So I want you to practice something. Insert curiosity into whatever is being regurgitated within you, even as you’re reading this, even on the day to day, even on those restaurant outings. Whatever it may be for you.
Heck, I love sugary coffee. Even as I’m sipping that sugary coffee, whatever comes up for me, the references I make toward myself as a person, that’s where the work is.
That’s where we insert curiosity and get into spelunking. Spelunk into the shame instead of allowing the shame to subjugate you into a smaller version of yourself (and I’m not necessarily speaking about the physical sense now).
The secret that I want to reveal in this article, which is SO easy to do, and is rooted in the foundation of OPTIMIZING THE METABOLIC PROCESS.
The secret simply is… the creation of…
The Fiber Net
I’ve come to think of it in this way: a net on the bottom of my stomach that serves as a slow-down mechanism for…
GLUCOSE ABSORPTION!
(& subsequent improved insulin sensitivity, a main driver in obesity).
Think of it like a welcome mat for digestion!
Many of our meals nowadays are seriously lacking in fiber, and this matters more than we think, because the sequence in which we eat deeply matters. I eat fiber first, not only to slow down glucose but also to hormonally optimize the body. This is especially important in the modern world, where refined carb-fronted meals are becoming a norm due to the simple fact that they’re cheap, able to be preserved for long periods on grocery shelves, and tasty.
You know what I love? The old-school logic of starting with greens. Our ancestors weren’t doing that because they hated joy. They were doing it because digestion is a ritual. That is why, historically, we began meals with a salad. This historical salad had not only the benefit of creating a natural fibrous net but also used to be made of digestive bitters (think: arugula, dandelion greens, kale), which effectively prepped bile for release (hence aiding your digestion!).
It’s less about “I am eating this salad because I want to be skinny” (this is a toxic mentality!) and more about: I AM EATING ADDITIONAL FOOD IN ORDER TO EFFECTIVELY PREP MY DIGESTION (with a fibrous net + digestive bitters).
NOW:
Do I really eat a salad before every meal in order to create a fibrous net?
No, I’m not a monk.
Luckily, there’s other options… and I’m about to explain my favorite one below!
Digestive bitters aside (also available in herbal tonics by the way), you can create a fibrous net in many different ways.
In the past, I tried using… psyllium husk. This always felt slightly “off” to me, mainly because my underlying foundation in regards to the body orients around how nature operates… and, to be frank: nature did not make that option romantic. Does it work? Yes, it does. I used to take capsule formats before meals and the fiber was fiber-ing.
There’s easier food variations. My favorites include: eating a couple artichoke hearts before meals (the ones that are in a jar on the grocery shelves), eating the vegetables on my plate first (if I have any)… or... my new favorite…
Chia seeds + unsweetened coconut milk
This combination is amazing. There’s variations that you can make (the world is your oyster!). Substitute water for the coconut milk, or not, because coconut milk ADDS to the fibrous net with its fat content (dietary fat can slow gastric emptying, often reducing a blood sugar rise in the first few hours).
Disclaimer: Unsweetened coconut milk is key here!
Here’s what I do:
At night, I mix up a few spoonfuls of chia seeds into a glass of unsweetened coconut milk.
In the morning: I have a huge cup of glorious expanded chia seeds.
Before every meal, I SIMPLY EAT A FEW SPOONFULS OF THIS MIXTURE.
It’s so easy, so tasty!, and so effortless.
My fiber net be fiber-ing AND purring.
Chia seeds are not only an amazing fiber net but can also be amazing for your heart and inflammation (omega 3’s baby! Article on how incredibly important Omega 3 is in this modern world is coming out soon, and it’s not what you think!).
Coconut milk helps with slower gastric emptying. Combined with the power of chia seeds expanding gel fiber, it is a powerhouse!
Bonus points: Add in electrolyte drops to the mixture at night, with a little tiny bit of vanilla extract.
Important caveat: This will not work if the chia seeds are not fully hydrated in the liquid of your choice (unsweetened coconut milk, or water). Chia seeds are an insoluble source of fiber UNTIL THEY ARE GELLED (hydrated). Once hydrated, chia seeds become a gel-forming soluble fiber source.
All of this to say: You’ll not only be full for longer but your glucose spikes will be far more regulated.
In tomorrow’s article we will explore… WHY THIS MATTERS FOR HORMONAL HEALTH, especially in obesity, and how this will contribute to a natural weight-loss (no calorie counting needed).
prelude:
Fiber-first blunts glucose spikes, which reduces insulin spikes, which lowers insulin demand, and can improve insulin resistance over time (which is a major driver of metabolic obesity).
What do you notice about the above sentence? Yeah, calories aren’t even counted.
Shocker?
Smirk.
xo
